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agoraphobic? nope not me, my heart yearns for the jostle, to be heave pressed within a throng of strangers, crowd held, the sheer sensual overwhelm, lost in a tide of hearts and fellows.
agoraphilliac? is that a thing
agoraphobia… my mind always stutter catches on the word, mostly as, when i was young, i thought it was aggrophobia (and indeed i am loathe to be around aggro!) and mouth mangled the word as such
actually theres a herd of words i mispronounce, yesterday i got hyperbole wrong, again, ha, i like it when i open my mouth and florid gunk gibberishes forth! word glut
as a youth i was a dismal bookworm, consequently i read words seldom uttered …sacred words that are forbidden to be spoken! else words that twister tongue cannot be pronounced
agoraphobia… fear of open spaces? actually fear of public spaces, a subtle difference, as the root etymology of the word is agora, the greek market place
basically every time i say it i imagine myself hanging out in a groovy toga and natty sandles… oh you know fist bumping plato, oiled up naked wrestling with aristotle, discussing quadratic equations with helen of troy, helping her with an lash trapped in her eye
oops i’ve digressed, was there a point? yes! i’m missing people
one of my ideal wednesdays would be ooh… lunchtime drop in meditation in the buddhist center, serene calm of the shrine room, the subtle shift of light, cloud shadows dappled from the skylight above, the summoning ring of singing bowl, open eyes to peer into the smile of the buddha
then going for coffee with a friend, gabble natter of all that is possible… peeling away for a leisurely jaunt through the North Laine, peering at all the beautiful people… clattering accidentally into a pal, long unseen, whilst hunting for mung beans in infinity foods, we hug, then swap sweet deets of forthcoming summer festies
sunset on the beach, later its a plod up the hill to dance, the ancient church of St Nicks, mad dervish whirl, howl, before subsiding into stillness… on the bus home, jolloping along the coat road, gawping at the moonlit ocean, the only other passengers 4 young efl students … who get off somewhere in the wild nether, never nowhere of peacehaven
aw, you know, NORMAL life, the thrills and pleasure of civic existence! … peeps, known, and strangers, i miss you!
spiel spool gently unravelling into words, putting off doing something more productive, like programming, or yoga… this the timbre and rhythm of lockdown daze x

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