watching tree creepers in the glade… for Joanna Macy

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a blessing: radiant white gem of clarity and constancy

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watching tree creepers in the glade… for Joanna Macy

heat bludgeoned at Buddhafield, plunge into the cool shadows of the glade, deep within this submarine realm of myriad green
hammock marooned, a cheerful sprawl, limbs strewn, arms and legs akimbo
above, glimpsed through patchwork leaves, the blue calm of sky
girth of benign pondersome oak, surrounded by slender silver birches

a tatter scrap of a bird alights, nervously it skitter stitches up the trunk, spiraling higher.
then scarper flits from tree to tree
I recite the dictum ‘nuthatch down, tree creeper up’
another bird joins, then another, a whole family, shy oblivious, as, again, buddhafield bloom blossoms around them

I love to walk this land, a deeply storied place
within this glade, standing in circle, as friends made their wedding vows, else the soft solemnity of the grief space

tumble into sandals, hoik heft of rucksack, follow the path towards the stream, heading for crew food, tea, friends the gentle chatter before shift
the background ommmm of nature? we the creatures of busy burden

but here, earth rumpled, astonished, a molehill in the path
earth fresh excavated from the night before, a blacker dirt, a more recent tumnulii than it’s neighbours, volcano splattered about
fresh grave? Joanna, your personal turning within the seasons and cycles of our own great turning
but more, molehill, with the steady measured comfort of your words, seek for sanctuary, this soft earth turned burrow of being almost home
Thank you




pic from bf website

context and natter chat!

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another Buddhafield festival come, and after 10 days in the field (for me!), gone

Buddhafield is a conscious festie, ‘no drink, no drugs’, held in the Somerset Blackdown Hills every July
At its heart it’s a Triratna Buddhist festival, with Meditation, Dharma Talks and Pujas… yet due to the nature of the movement, theres also yoga, inclusive spaces, shamanism, dance, singing, permaculture, 12 steps, live bands, music around the fires… the whole hippy kit-kaboodle!! hundreds of beautiful people to dance with, laugh with and hug!

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On the Sunday afternoon, as the festival was beginning to wind down, I ambled along, grooving to the musicians jamming outside old tree
popped into the beloved arms tee-pee for a smattering of a Kirtan, before ending up in the dance tent… where Sofia and Sandra, Italian friends, were holding a ‘dance of the elements’… think dance followed by Didge and Singing Bowl Sound Bath
whilst I was nimble prancing around the dance floor, a seed spore blew in from one side of the tent… one of those huge ones, spore sputnik, hairy awesome gossamer spider THINGS… it was drifting towards the ground, so i wafted it back upwards, like you would with a giant Rainbow soap bubble… a gentle gyre, then it caught the gust of wind and exited through the other side of the tent… i chased it to see it drifting deep into the dark, ominous fairytale woods
reminds me of Bedes Olde English Saxon tale on the stark brevity of this life
on a winters night a sparrow flys into a mead hall, where a King and his thanes are feasting, a brief flutter, before it leaves through the other door, back into the cold and dark
which, to mind(!), chimes well with Buddhist thinking

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I’ve been coming to the festival since ooh 2009 and, thru a quick head mathematical totting up, as an ex programmer, I love being logical(!)… reckon, that down the years, I’ve spent over three months in this particular field… and what a joy that has been!
every year several old familiar faces don’t return… but always there’s new people to Love! the inevitable truth that in fair time, one year, however distant, I will no longer return… which admittedly sounds a little maudlin and nostalgiac, but in my opinion is exactly how life should be
Anyway I’ve always stewarded, usually running one of the teams up by the front gate… Rocking the Podule!… I love the energy of arrival, greeting people just as they first get here

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oh, the poem, I was going to say something about that… I wrote it sitting in the glade, between shifts, we had heard that Joanna Macy was in the last few days of her life… I’ve always loved ‘the work that re-connects’, usually popping in for at least a couple of the daily sessions at BF… it’s a profound body of work, crucial for all of us alive in these times… and also a great smorgasbord of a workshop, which has a little soupcon of everything… bit of eye gazing, a few games, a lot of soul sharing!
In the poem I wanted to give voice to the other creatures that live on this land, all year round… the owls that hoot deep amongst the trees… the frogs, that go hopping about the site every time it rains… the brawler hares that live in the fields up by the front gate… what do they make of it when the glade is invaded?… by slack liners, teetering along a rope… by kids whooping… by the tranquil sanctity of the grief space
they just get on with it, going about their tree creeper and mole ways…
oblivious to the festival, but beyond that, oblivious to the throes and heroism of human mortality
i would wish that when i die that this is treated with deep nonchalance and disregard, by nature, going on with it’s own business
but my fear, THE fear, is that this is now only the case in isolated pockets? that such the hubris, such the sickening tragedy, of our reach that this has become the exception rather than the norm?

anyway, i’m hoping the moles don’t mind too much the dance tent, foot stomping, earth juddering base sound resonance?
part of the impetus to write something came about because when Love Patrol (they bring us tea, biscuits and love) came by where I was working, Meera had a book of Mary Oliver poems, a couple of which i read aloud to the team… I love reading aloud… Mary an obvious, and much more lofty-profound influence

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Stewarding in the sunshine and the rain… bekky took the sunshine snaps, she wanted to send her mum a couple of pics showing her how it was… her looking wholesome, before donning war paint and reverting to the feral, loving Rainbow child she really was!
One of my favourite tasks was driving ‘Dancing Queen’ around the site… the stewards purple vehicle… so named because it only had one cd, Abba, which would play the first three songs then spit it out!
I arrived laden with charity shop cds ‘Bat Out of Hell’ which sadly would not play at all, scuppering my plans to dawdle about with ROCK melodrama blaring out the open windows… my other cd was Prince, a purple vehicle deserves tunes by his regal purpleness!
This vehicle a huge improvement from the one in previous years, a scrap yard salvage, completely missing 1st gear, this would make getting up the steep hill from slope a wheel spinning extravaganza!!
Anyway I’d pop down to pick up a huge vat of crew food, enough for all the Stewards working up top… then with Halley cuddling it in the passenger seat, a human gyroscope to stop it spilling! we’d crawl slowly up the hill, the fruity sounds of ‘Head’ blaring out and deliver grub to all the stewards… there was a huge double rainbow, it’s arch radiant over all the site… slightly soggy, starving, delusionally happy stewards were most content as ‘meals on wheels’ finally arrived!

dancing queen

(to be cont’d)

pujas next! (note to self)

cds
love patrol biccies
old friend from healing garden
bf website
old tree

60

canterbury
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Thanks for all the birthday wishes! much appreciated

Sixty (60!) years old… so, on the day, my son and I cycled 60 miles to Canterbury

Truly Heroic! the first half was the beautiful, but brutal, High Weald… Up followed by Down, by Up, then, logic defying, Up again

for the second half National Cycle Route 18 just cruises, meandering gently through the countryside

High High Summer, Britain has seldom seemed more radiant

woodland, golden summer fields, the green hills beyond… we stopped for a dip in the River Stour… arriving at the Cathedral for a sunset peal of bells

half a mile short of our allotted 60, so we cycled a loop around and around an ancient plane tree

Canterbury, ideal destination for a birthday pilgrimage, and bizarrely, somewhere I’ve never visited before!

a pint, then an endorphin doze on the train home… blessedly barely thought about my birthday at all

a cheerful lazy lazy day today xx

plane tree
ophelia
route

solstice

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channeling a ‘boat of the sun’ venetian gondolier vibe… yet more prosaically, just an impromptu sunset river swim in piddinghoe, post downs bike ride. Ridiculous sun soaked days!

……………

no Stonehenge/Avebury jaunt for me this year… couldn’t find anybody who fancied it, tho didn’t look that hard… fun, but a long old haul
instead i went for an afternoon cycle… rattling along the river upstream towards lewes, then following the cycle route to glynde
saw on the zu page that pete, vicar of firle, was having a low key solstice celebration up by the beacon… so i set off for that
a steep, steep haul up the road to the top of the beacon… the vicar waved as he drove past!
i ended up walking nearly all of it… i’d presumed the celebration would be near the car park, but no, rather they’d opened the gate and, in their 4 wheeled drive vehicles, driven the mile or so further along and up to the beacon itself
out of puff, i couldn’t be bothered, so, rather followed the ridge along homewards to where it dropped back down to Beddingham
majestic views, an umbrous mellow light, all the way
back along the river, arriving at piddinghoe… a gaggle of folk having a sunset, solstice dip… so in i hopped
the tide was just turning, so there was a harmonious balance between the fresh water river flowing down stream and the sea salt water surging in
within ten minutes the ocean began its retreat, my body began to be sternly, resolutely tugged downstream… time to get out!
the tide was just turning, much as within the greater cycles, the tide of light is also turning
solstice blessings x

Bloomsday

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Bloomsday! Ulysses is one hundred and twenty one years muddle aged… such a gush gobbledygook, babble clamour of a book…
both an incomprehensible compendium of tedium and a work of flabberghasting genius, this restless, and relentless, churning of words and lives
I was listening to the audio book when foolish awake at 5:00 this morning… one of this, my summer of 60, regurgative projects…
the audio book really helps! brilliantly read by Bishop Len Brennan, from Father Ted… Jim Norton… his narration is marvelously nuanced…
often Joyce brain hops between 3 or 4 characters, allusively, all within the same sentence… but a subtle shift in intonation nudges you somewhere towards comprehension
also really helps with the cadence and flow. recommended
I’m up to chapter 12, about a third of the way through… no expectation of finishing… but thats not really the point… brogue, vim and fortitude!

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I first read it whilst living in a squat, next to Karlov Most in Praha
endlessly roaming the streets, always with a colourful hippy bag containing Ulysses and my juggling clubs… preposterous drunkenness, surprised I never lost neglected them in a pub!
took me more than 2 years to get to the end, the gusto of youthful pretentiousness (not that much has changed)… forever bewildered, having to lurch back to the beginning, or some other random point in the tale
I remember finally finishing it in Piran, Slovenia… i’d hitched down to see Boris in Ljljljubljana… sunset, somersault into summers salt water, sitting on a rock on the beach, where i’d sleep that night, a murmuration of starlings weaving a spell around the church on the hill above… from my seat, a view across the water to Trieste, where, curiously, Joyce had been living when he began the book… pleasing linear circularity

anyway snap of me, from yesterday, with my old battered 90’s copy… and one of curati and i, spring 91, on the steps in Staroměstská (thanks RP!)
Bloom to my own Dedalus

Rock

Round. Obdurate. Enduring
the patience to wait, yet suffice in yourself
I come with my monkey whorl of fingerprints
to prod, then caress
smooth serene, with the occasional hiccup of grit, rough to the touch
a small eggs worth of heft
One which rolls, a trundle of off kilter eccentricity
World Revolves around You
World revolves around Our Human Heart

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A short poem I wrote in a ‘Work That Reconnects’ Workshop at Buddhafield
curious as I haven’t written anything in months, yet this appeared, full formed, in less than 15 minutes
I have always loved the ‘Work That Reconnects’, Joanna Macy’s profound ‘Engaged Buddhism’, which attempts to give us a framework to begin to grapple with our hopes and grief concerning climate catastrophe
a spiral of 4 workshops, around the themes of ‘Gratitude’, ‘Honouring Our Pain’, ‘Seeing with New and Ancient Eyes’ and ‘Going Forth’
This year I made 3 of the 4 workshops, they were all held, each day, between 10 – 12 in a small yurt next to the Dharma Parlour
A beautiful intimate space, a geodesic dome, of canvas and rough hewn wooden poles, with a buddha shrine and the vibrant colours of flowers… far from the thudding techno of the dance tent (which indeed has its time and place)
I enjoyed the daily, routine regular aspect of it, an excellent opportunity to check in, gauge my energy before the cheerful chaos of the main festie
Many of the fellow participants used it in the same way, loved connecting with Meg, Emily, Jess, and many others, every morning
The workshops themselves are a proper smorgasbord, some eye gazing, some chatting in pairs, some discussion within the wider group, psychotherapeutic practices, creative visualisation and, of course, galloshers of hugging
a sprinkling of everything! which satisfies my restless nature!

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before writing the poem we had been in 2 smaller circles, each had a bowl of water in the centre, which represents our tears, we then took turns to go into the centre of the circle and name our grief
mine was obvious, and profound, but not for a blog post
I found the process of naming this grief a little performative, yet afterwards, sitting in circle listening to the others, my tears began to flow
so much stigma, for a man, and people generally, around crying in public, it’s useful and beautiful to do this

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Oh and now I want to tell about the Jewels Wingfield ‘Belonging’ workshop straight afterwards, in the main workshop space
a plea for tribal acceptance
We split into groups of 4, with each participant focused on in turn, intense eye gazing three staring at the one, 10 minutes each, the repetitive and rhythmic ‘welcome, welcome’ uttered on each and every out breath
I’ve done this workshop on previous years, so was quite relaxed about it, our group was a couple of friends, one of whom had her 5 year old son with her… and another with her 5 year old daughter and a 3 month old baby!
Part of me was ‘eye gazing in a group with 3 children! probs not going to work’, the first round was admittedly chaotic
yet after that the 2 children became extremely peaceful, whilst the baby got on with breast feeding
for the woman with the babies turn, I took the little ‘un and cradled him on my lap
a beautiful experience, eye gazing always so powerful… as the workshop was themed around our loss of tribal belonging, a sprinkling of kids definitely helped
made me think how I am currently missing having small children in my life

and Triskele… a weird, beautiful three holed stone I found a few months back, tacked on the end here!

Vote

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VOTE! Kick the Tories Out!… Don’t forget your id (and Courgette flower)

A lovely sunny morning, I trundled up the hill early, its a pleasantly anachronistic process, a sedate hullabaloo… bit glasto, bit wimbledon, bit dull… and, i think, important x

skullington

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chalk yorrick australopithecus and the yellow daub daffodil
cheerfully gloomy juxtaposition of a chalk skullington from the cliffs and this mornings daff selfie
………………
jottings. words going nowhere!
……
mother smooth rounded chalk boulders
the cliffs their substantial perplexing bulk
prodded at by waves
until rock fall, broken clean
……
yolk crack open to the break of day, warm breath of gold
the pfaff of a chaffinch family amongst the daffodils
the querulous chirrup of sparrows….

shazzam for birds

Merlin Bird App

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.labs.merlinbirdid.app&pcampaignid=web_share

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shazzam for birds! free app. just who is the phantom tweetle twerper lurking in yonder thicket? the one spewing up its lungs in a joyful bildungsroman sonata!
or equally frequently, a raucous, repetitive, self congratulatory croak… i’m looking at you ‘european carrion crow’
this morning up at castle hill there were goldfinches, robins, wrens, a plethora of assorted tits, crows, a yellow legged gull and errm a dunnock
i can recognise all of these birds from their plumage as they flit from branch to branch… excepting the dunnock, which i know to be a small drab bird of little import
… yet haven’t got a bean what many of them sound like! so of course not wishing to encourage further use of smart phones, dummies, pacifiers, for dummies
but discernment is knowledge… a joy to close the eyes and listen to the exquisite melodic fluency… occasionally opening one eye to squint down at phone to see who that be
… also, astonishingly sophisticated, i cupped my hands and blew a flawless clarion conch owl hooot… ‘greater spotted berk’, but noo matches for long eared screech owl?!

………………….

in nepal, teaching the kids in each village how to owl hoot, a trail of too whit to woo all the way up the valley, FADING AWAY INto the hills

Rain

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i love the sound of Rain, soporific, can’t be bothered
aloft in the loft, the gentle pummel against the skylight
the sloping roof conjures something of tents… but theres none of that sound of ecstatic static
rather the staccato of pitter, interspersed with patter
an undertow of rumble and purr,
as tho someone were drumming their fingertips, not with proverbial impatience, but with the sheer pleasure of it, rhythmic, tactile satisfaction.

whilst tidying earlier, amalgamating various piles on the floor, that sort of half hearted clearing out, found an unused ink pen in its wh smith packaging!
the scratch and blot of thought, the simple pleasure of sullying a page, snail trail of ink… everyone scribbles gibberish notes on paper? I etch:
‘Write More. Reveal Less.’
that’ll do… a selfie… then time for a game of chess, as son over

ooh… double hats!! kinda knitted tibetan… pink purple hat sect

tom: Beautifully expressed also what’s your chess.com username

We’ve been old schooling it, lovely to play on a large board, music, herbal tea… substantial concentration and the occasional conversation
Having said that, intending to join online, as son improving massively from there, whilst im stagnating… will let you know when I’m up and running xx

megan: I woke up this morning in a friend’s attic flat to rain pattering on the windows. It made such a lovely sound that I was unable to get up for at least an hour and a half!

Beautiful to be serenaded by the rain, yet not have to be out in it. A cherished languishing xx