Category: audio

agoraphobic? nope not me, my heart yearns for the jostle, to be heave pressed within a throng of strangers, crowd held, the sheer sensual overwhelm, lost in a tide of hearts and fellows.
agoraphilliac? is that a thing
agoraphobia… my mind always stutter catches on the word, mostly as, when i was young, i thought it was aggrophobia (and indeed i am loathe to be around aggro!) and mouth mangled the word as such
actually theres a herd of words i mispronounce, yesterday i got hyperbole wrong, again, ha, i like it when i open my mouth and florid gunk gibberishes forth! word glut
as a youth i was a dismal bookworm, consequently i read words seldom uttered …sacred words that are forbidden to be spoken! else words that twister tongue cannot be pronounced
agoraphobia… fear of open spaces? actually fear of public spaces, a subtle difference, as the root etymology of the word is agora, the greek market place
basically every time i say it i imagine myself hanging out in a groovy toga and natty sandles… oh you know fist bumping plato, oiled up naked wrestling with aristotle, discussing quadratic equations with helen of troy, helping her with an lash trapped in her eye
oops i’ve digressed, was there a point? yes! i’m missing people
one of my ideal wednesdays would be ooh… lunchtime drop in meditation in the buddhist center, serene calm of the shrine room, the subtle shift of light, cloud shadows dappled from the skylight above, the summoning ring of singing bowl, open eyes to peer into the smile of the buddha
then going for coffee with a friend, gabble natter of all that is possible… peeling away for a leisurely jaunt through the North Laine, peering at all the beautiful people… clattering accidentally into a pal, long unseen, whilst hunting for mung beans in infinity foods, we hug, then swap sweet deets of forthcoming summer festies
sunset on the beach, later its a plod up the hill to dance, the ancient church of St Nicks, mad dervish whirl, howl, before subsiding into stillness… on the bus home, jolloping along the coat road, gawping at the moonlit ocean, the only other passengers 4 young efl students … who get off somewhere in the wild nether, never nowhere of peacehaven
aw, you know, NORMAL life, the thrills and pleasure of civic existence! … peeps, known, and strangers, i miss you!
spiel spool gently unravelling into words, putting off doing something more productive, like programming, or yoga… this the timbre and rhythm of lockdown daze x

Vishudda…. the exuberant fizz of beech trees coming into soft lime leaf… a gentle blizzard, burr of brown leaf husks fills the air…
pics from yesterday, found bluebells galore!… languish surrounded by them in the dappled sunshine…
at ease amongst the elementals… this land, our land, heart yearn, magnificent in this spring, all the sweeter through these days of worry…
hope you have the fortune to spend time in the woods

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for lol:
Ha, truth is a mouthful of my ‘beautiful’mutterings is seldom far away, cept in these curious days slightly less extroverted… You and Fran are some of the many folk I always associate with Beltane bluebell-age xx

Aw and hope your keeping up with your tales (as with muddy log in bluebell woods)… World is the richer for all of us saying it into being xx

idle pensée… hunkered down on the brow of the hill, gorse flowers, dense clumps of dragon goblet gold
blackthorn with straggled open branches, creamy froth of blossom, the impossible festoon from each smidgin of surface
hawthorn pushes through into soft green leaf
the spell of water… peering down upon a pond, which in turn yields up the sky, a nuanced, mottled reflection of clouds… nuage
a riff on the idea of ‘sky’, with its serpent deeper, more sonorous timbre, tone and flow
minuet between air and water, the surface wind ruffled, pucker kiss stippled
we are forever poised between this up and that down!
bramble snag of mind, wistful, the yearning to tell is always one of the forms of love?

skinny love!… thats the astonishingly yum nettle pesto spaghetti rather than me
teetering on the edge of doolally already… woke up somewhat manic monday this morning, which at least is a change from a week of being weary and despondent
a glut of meditation, yoga and cleaning the shower!… daughter has sensibly retreated to her room

sEeds are good… sEEeeeeds are good… as surely the shamen were singing?
traditionally my drabbest photo of the year… i mean its lumps of earth… tho some might well argue my usual slew of selfies border on tedium
but, but seeds… think of the awesome potential!
the eagle eyed may well have spotted the pots are somewhat crudely in the shape of an Om… i chanted the universal seed sound, Ommmmm, over them afterwards… biodynamic innit!??
I don’t really know what i’m doing, but bung them in some soil, sunshine, water… we all flourish better with the right conditions
the most fun bit is always planting last years toms (i have perfected the rare november / never fruiting tomato)… just burst the old fruits over the the tray and admire the seedy slobber gloop
i tend to mark them with little cardboard signs, which rot at the first watering, so then i have no idea, when finally they pop up, which seedling is which!
this year as well as the usual toms, chillis and miscellanious squashes i’m trying runner and dwarf beans
anyway first day of home alone for me, grateful, amongst so many other things for a back yard and the sunshine
strange times, no idea where all this is going, stay home, stay healthy, love to y’all x

Urbane! Kurt Urbane. At my best, from a flattering aspect, i am a kindly and charming soul…
if you were to meet me in a cafe in some far distant land (as some of you have), why then i would amuse and bamboozle with oft uttered anecdotes…
smoothe like sea glass… some suave weather beaten leathery lump o’ wood?
love to talk, yet also to listen… world piques us curious… together we make something…
first on the dance floor, and often the last to leave… when i hear the sound of my own laugh, why it makes me laugh even more!
What be the wisdom of age? why a certain baggy capacity, a knowing that i am enough
braggard, smug egotism? of course! but thats just a single facet, not so hot on days where the usual neurosis, renders me near incapable of tumbling out of bed…
apparently my love of selfies is a feature of libra ascending? and in snaps nowadays, it’s a choice twixt smiling or having eyes! happy or eyes? eyes or happy! bastard choice
yes, the visage of somebody, thus far, blessed with benign circumstances
… and that ‘capacity’, a result of all the times life has threatened to capsize, yet the love of others has somehow buoyed me up
we are stronger for the beautiful enduring nexus of our connections
of course life and time will ultimately chew us all up, we all know that
but yeah, in the beautiful, brief boon, of the lull of now, why, best surely, to enjoy being you?!!

………………………………..
less words, more likes, but always i enjoy the song of my own saying
hmm ‘urbane’, for a pic in the countryside? isn’t it ironic… alanis morissete stylee!

reply to Rhona

ha! thanks love, my eyes radiate a benign cosmic charm… or not… have to rely on the subtle sunset light nowadays
i also have the dilemna… smile and have no eyes? or eyes and no smile… eyes or happy… happy or eyes?! difficult when you just love to guffaw!
anyway if you guys are ever over sussex way pop by and stay… plenty of room for the family… be great to see ya (it’s been a while) xxx

reply to Hannah

Thanks… Wellington bootifull… Was up to me midrift in mud (slight exaggeration)… But, obvs, always worth it for a selfie… Holi looks like it was a blast! Xx