cops With Gnus!

…err guns i mean
I enjoyed James border guard story the other day and tho’ not much liking violence at all, it is amazing how authority figures brandishing weapons focuses the attention.. any more tales?

….old email yak……..
……………
headed for my sisters down in Miami, we got as far as West Palm Beach (later of hanging chad, election 2000 fame), drove around for an hour looking for a suitable beach or layby, knackered, so tried to get some sleep in a shopping mall car park
Woken up half an hour later, Whazzat! the full sirens and loud hailer routine
‘GET OUT OF THE CAR. KEEP YOUR HANDS WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM. NO SUDDEN MOVES’
We were surrounded by police, pointing guns at us. scarey.
Pushed up against the bonnet of the car, arms and legs stretched, patted down, frisked, it was all very Starskey and Hutch, or Chips, which, i guess goes to show how long since i’ve watched any cop shows!
they were really nice to us once we did our ‘we’re just young british students having adventures in your lovely spiffing country’ routine
they let us kip there in the car park till 4:00 in the morning, then waved to us from the doughnut and coffee stand as we left

….hmmm if yer very bored, heres the first bit of the email
……………

we were doing a Driveaway from New York to Miami, you know where trusting folk allow you to deliver a car halfway across the States for them, I hopped in the car after not having driven for 7 years and tentatively drove it away. Thank heavens for Cruise Control!
it was a fantastic trip, we drove along the Appalachian Skyway in the Fall, blue grass and banjo music on the stereo, trapped amidst the psychedelic swirl of leaves. The most sumptuous reds, oranges, yellows. Like being in a huge Kaleidoscope or a snow shaker with leaves!
I did my laurel and hardy routine ‘In the blue ridge mountains of Virginia, on the trail of the lonesome pine’.
Goodnight John Boy!

Then in one small redneck town, just a southern baptist church and a McDonalds, some of the local teen girls were ‘Are you the lead singer from the Gin Blossoms’ (who they!), we had to leave rather sharpish when the ‘good ole boys’ started paying us too much very bored attention………..

sing along in your head 1

the ballad of Lucy Jordan

The morning sun touched lightly on the eyes of lucy jordan
In a white suburban bedroom in a white suburban town
As she lay there neath the covers dreaming of a thousand lovers
Till the world turned to orange and the room went spinning round.

At the age of thirty-seven she realised shed never
Ride through paris in a sports car with the warm wind in her hair.
So she let the phone keep ringing and she sat there softly singing
Little nursery rhymes shed memorised in her daddys easy chair.

twitten

do you know the very narrow lane, twitten, twixt the black lion and the cricketers?
apparently back in Stuart times when Charles was making his escape to France,
he was getting a piggy back along there, he didn’t wish to get muck on his winkle pickers, doublet and hose.
He met a rather portly Fish wife coming the other way, she was rather flustered and too wide to reverse, so they had to bowl her over and step over her as she lay on the ground.
With Royal manners like that, little wonder they chopped his dads ‘ead orf!

oh and later there was a famous race, where a tubby fella bet he could bet a renowned athlete he could beat him in a race, so long as he had a 10 yard headstart and could choose the course.
they raced along that alley and the athlete couldn’t get past him! genius

where to camp?

…response to a post

East Dean!
I took the kids there last summer and it was brilliant, a hidden valley in the heart of the South Downs, surrounded by beech forest. Gerronimo Rope Swings

Extremely Cheap. No loos

New House Farm East Dean Chichester West Sussex

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Those pesky ponies in the New Forest tho’
when i was about 5 my family went for a picnic there we were attacked by them, my sister was kicked by a stallion
she still has a lucky horseshoe hoofprint mark on her leg (some sorta stigmata!)
my mum whisked me and my younger sister away to safety, whilst my dad somehow hoiked the back seat out of the car and fought the stallion off, by this time the horse was rearing up like billyo. Hi Ho Silver!
Kemo Sabe Tonto
Dads are SuperHeros
Somehow amidst the meleé and kerfuffle my 2 year old brother was completely overlooked and stayed cheerfully playing on the picnic rug.