I was Errol Browns paper boy (part 1)

I was Errol Browns paper boy!
you know, the lead singer of hot chocolate (‘you sexy thing’)
he had a brown moustache, er porsche, i mean parked in his drive


does anyone else know anybody famous? the more tenuous the link the better

my friend Henry went to school with Laurence Llewlyn Bowen, who was apparently not very popular! gosh.

whereas our school could only boast the son of Rodger Dautrey, the singer from the Who.
not very impressive, except the son had a glass eye, which if you asked him nicely he’d pop out and roll around like a marble

my mate Flaps was caught by Griff Rhys Jones whilst stealing a bottle of Timotei shampoo from Griff’s bathroom
old hippy canucks
Joni Mitchell
Neil Young
and Jen..and casey .. and adrian, that nation has surely contributed enough!

claire who i shared a cave with went from there straight to a barn in the bottom of Johnny Morris’s garden near avebury


he kept a llama
and was very grumpy (morris and the llama both!)
back in 1970 Johnny Morris refused to sign my sisters autograph book in weybridge library
not that i bear a grudge

gosh andy as an air hostess!
you should wear your uniform to work…. and push the drinks trolly around

I was once on a plane with michael portillo, he has a big head..
quite literally his head is huge! sitting several rows behind him nobody could see the film screen whatsoever

the only advantage to having michael portillo on board is that if one of the windows was blown out, in a decompression, goldfinger type moment, he would be sucked towards it
and completely plug the gap. hurrah

Bryan Ferry (father of dreadful tory, orville? otis?) was air hijacked once, there is a great surreal photograph of it somewhere, but i couldn’t find it. glum

that Dean Gaffney bloke was at my brothers wedding (and a mountain of Proffita Rolls)
actually half the cast of East Enders was there
Finn was only 3 at the time so we tied a Helium balloon to his arm, one with ‘Happy Wedding’ on it, then set him free to roam whither he wilt, the logic being we’d be able to see his balloon amidst the crowd of disco boppers.
what with general champagne quaffing we hadn’t noticed him for a while, then away in the distance up bobbed the balloon
‘ah there he is’, so i dashed over, only to find, nope not Finn, but it was that italian restaurant geezer, Bepe.
Bepe had a half deflated helium balloon to his lips and was speak squeaking in a high pitched Donald Duck voice
…as you do

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