Author: basgallop

valentines day

from an old email, no harm in a cheery dose of valentines schmaltz!
… oh, first time i wrote a version of this tale, it was in very bad czech, for my friend Dita,
whilst out drinking, we’d communicate solely by drawing cartoons on beer mats
luckily, a lot of beer mats in prague

….
once when i was on the escalator, there was this oldish czech couple above me,
they were huge huddle bundled up in coats
he, with a red drinkers nose, protection ‘gainst the winter cold, she pale faced and chubby.
Suddenly he went down on one knee and started serenading her
a dreadful croak of a voice, but capable of holding a tune
she was delighted, laughed and laughed, her jowls jelly wobbling with glee.
this, in turn, set him off, hoot cackles bound resounding to the roof
they loved each other
the escalator hurtled down, down onwards towards the end
there a coke can, clank clatter, spieled and tumbriled in the gutter,
weir trapped at the base of the escalator…
…………………..

i do like my shrek like happy grotesques, valentines is great
the good thing about life is every person loves someone!

having lurked in the bathroom cabinet for a month or so, our pet hyacinth has bloomed miracously.
What a wonderful pong!
only a smellovision internet would do it justice

… actually what was that John Waters/ Divine film, where you got handed a scratch and sniff card as you entered the cinema?

… in response to:

Anyone know how to get cheap calls to overseas mobile numbers?

………..

Metaphor! I mean Semaphore! wow, the things people did before the internet
back to the future
near where i grew up there was disused Semaphore tower up on the ridge of the North Downs, a brill place to go and play. I think it’s a tall skinny house now. lots and lots and lots of stairs.

It must have been quite fun standing up there hurrah, hurl, waving a few flags about and looking down on the treetops below.

The tower was part of a chain that stretched all the way from Greenwich to Portsmouth, for sending messages rapidly to and from the fleet ‘Matty Taylor scores a scorcher’
I want to say the fantastic Samuel Pepys set it up, an everyman visionary, but i’m not remotely sure if thats true?

Inspector morse code

.. | .-.. — …- . | -.– — ..-

always the first words to learn in any new language!

a lo fi, but useful site

http://users.scoutnet.nl/~inter/morse/morseform.html

when wallow hippo in the bath i turn the hot tap on with my toes.

what else are toes good for?

….. on being told, that the big toe affects balance and that those affected with frostbite can’t stand upright ……..

yeuchh big lebowski, captain oates i give you tepid bath water, and you respond with tales of toe mutilation!

Did you know that the foreleg and hooves of a horse are actually, a horses fingers and toes and that horses are really tip toeing about? Or something like that?

…….. when i was young, we were told that cavemen had wider spaced, gripping toes (prehensile!) and that that was because they didn’t wear shoes. As a result we didn’t wear shoes for an entire week, running around the garden, waving fire hardened cave man spears, hurling them into the bushes, stig of the dump stylee. Much fun, yet sadly with no palpable toe spacing improvement whatsoever!

All true galloopiis have a misshapen little toe. By the claw shall you know them!

………..

I’ve just thought of my friend David in prague, he was American, very New York and most Woody Allen, when younger he claimed to have been an amphetamine fuelled Chess Hustler in Washington square, Greenwich Village.

When I knew him he was a very pleasant ineffectual intellectual, but also the best News photographer i ever met! I’ll have to put up some of his piccies one day, awesome!

Whilst lamenting his lack of success with women, he was always doing an impersonation of his Grandma ‘No Huppi, No Stuppi’, which apparently is some reference to them getting married under a special canopy?! and basically means, no sex before marriage

Anyway back to the toes, David’s seduction plan with young american tourists, was to persuade them to take off their shoes and socks and walk with him about the city. He’d always spin some line about mystical prague of the dreaming spires, about how you could only really absorb the spirit of the stones, through the souls of your feet!

basically he thought that if you can get them to hobble across cobble stones, if you could get them to have abn adventure, if you could get them to take their shoes off, you might have more luck with further garments of their clothing.

Bless him, he was totally un cynical about the whole ruse!

Not sure if the ploy ever worked, but often meet him in the heart of old town, with a girl, both of them clutching shoes in their hands. I’d just wink and tip toe past myself